Discovery
by P-3a
Summary: Anduin Wrynn uncovers and comes to terms with his asexuality. [Originally started December 2013.]
1. Deliverance

Just because ye've nae been wi' a lass in decades, Belgrum, doesna mean—"  
"Now, now, all this salty talk's not fit fer young royal ears!" chided Aerin, who was completely unruffled by the conversation.  
Anduin, however, coloured slightly. "It's okay," he said. "I mean… I know about these things."  
Unable to resist, Aerin winked at him. "Do ye now?"  
Anduin quickly turned to Belgrum. "What do YOU think it means?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. (x)

It wasn't that thirteen-year-old Anduin Wrynn was necessarily upset by the topic, or even embarrassed by it like might have been implied by his blush. It was more that he was... distressed over his lack of interest, and afraid of it being exposed.

He'd thought about this before. It had actually been a handful of years ago, when he'd just turned ten years old and Bolvar Fordragon had first breached the subject with him, that the matter had first come up.

"You may have already noticed you've been feeling things when you look at women," Bolvar had explained, "or men."

Anduin didn't know what he meant, and looked up at him with a skeptical wrinkle to his nose. "Things?"

"You might want to hold their hand and spend a lot of time with them," he continued.

Anduin nodded. He understood that part.

"You might want to kiss them," Bolvar circled his hand as he explained.

Anduin nodded again. The mental image of a particular boy, about his age, who he'd seen training at the cathedral to be a paladin came to mind.

"And then you get a strange feeling between your legs."

Anduin stared blankly at him.

"...no?" Bolvar raised an eyebrow.

Anduin shook his head, his cheeks starting to burn. Was there something wrong with him?

Bolvar tried not to look worried and pulled a book out from under the desk they were sat at. "Well, your Majesty, what I'm heading towards is that there's something you'll have to do when you're a little older to produce heirs for the kingdom." He opened the book at a particular page - mid-sized font surrounded scientific anatomical diagrams of the different genitalia - and showed it to Anduin. "Something a little like this..."

Anduin came into a little more understanding after reading that. He did get the feeling Bolvar had been referring to, it just... didn't happen in relation to people at all. Or anything, really. It seemed to be random.

He didn't mention that to Bolvar. He was clever, and it was his intuition on when to keep his mouth shut that had kept him alive as a boy king for so long. His sense for when adults were about to disagree with him was as acute as ever, and he didn't want to hear from Bolvar that there was something the matter with how he felt.

It wasn't until he was sixteen that Anduin really came to terms with what he was, and his deliverance was in the form of a most unusual companion.

His first few meetings with Prince Wrathion of the Black Dragonflight had been fraught with arguments, barbed insults, and at least one instance of Anduin furiously storming out of the room, refusing to go back for his cane - more worried about injuring his pride than his knee.

It had faded, though, into constant jihui games, playful bickering, and long, late-night debates. It was during a mixture of all three of these that Wrathion had, without Anduin ever noticing the change in conversation, brought up the topic of sexuality.

"I can't say I exactly comprehend you humans' insistence on gender as a contributing factor to procreation," he drawled, swirling his drink in its cup in a way that Anduin found rather pretentious. (It's just tea, he said mentally. Stop fiddling with it like it's alcohol. Everyone knows it isn't. You're two.)

"I don't think sexuality has much to do with procreation," Anduin posited. "It's more to do with... uh, attraction," he fumbled, "I guess."  
Wrathion examined Anduin for a full five seconds before he spoke again. "You have intercourse recreationally?"  
"Um, yeah. Well, some people do. It's... enjoyable, I guess." He shrugged. "I wouldn't know, I'm... I don't... do that."  
Wrathion blinked. "You're infertile?"  
Anduin laughed. He was still on the procreation thing... "No, I'm just not sexually attracted to anyone."

He surprised himself with how clearly he'd put it. Wrathion blinked again, then understanding washed over his face:

"You're asexual."

"I- what?" Anduin stared. "There's a word for that?"  
"Of course there's a word for it. You humans are rather wonderful at butchering your Titan-given language for all sorts of new concepts, you know." Wrathion smiled, almost sympathetically, and leaned over to make his move in the jihui game. "You even have a word for how I am. Pansexual, it's called - 'attraction to all genders'. Very creative."

Anduin closed his mouth. "Does- does this mean there are others like me?"  
"Of course," Wrathion smiled.  
"But-" Anduin hesitated. Maybe he'd been too eager. "I've had, uh. I've had crushes on people, before. Men, mostly."  
"Romantic crushes, yes?"  
"Um-" Anduin blushed. "Yes."  
"Then what's the problem?" Wrathion seemed genuinely confused, his lips pursed and his eyebrow raised. "You don't experience sexual attraction, but you do experience romantic attraction. It's rather simple. Asexual and homoromantic."  
Anduin laughed nervously, feeling [silly]. "I- I guess, yeah."

Anduin swallowed, stalling on his turn for a little while before he looked up at Wrathion.

"Wrathion?"  
"Hm?" Wrathion looked up from his drink. "It's your move, by the way."  
"I know. I-" Anduin grimaced, feeling embarassed. "I just wanted to say thank you."  
"Whatever for?"  
"For helping me find, um, words. For how I felt." He smiled a little. "Thanks."  
"It's really no problem, Anduin Wrynn. It's no cost on my part."  
"I guess. But I just-" oh, why was he telling Wrathion all this? The dragon wasn't even interested. "I felt for so long like there was something wrong with me..."

Wrathion sighed softly, giving an odd sort of blink and tilt to his head before continuing. "Then I daresay it's I who should be thanking you," he said.  
"What- What for?" Anduin gave a short laugh.  
"For giving me the opportunity to cheat at our game," Wrathion grinned.  
"What-" Anduin laughed properly. "Wrathion, I told you, the object is for both players to win!"  
"And haven't we? Both won out of this, I mean?" The dragon grinned wider, his sharp teeth glinting in the candlelight. "You feel comfortable, and I get to see you comfortable because of me."  
"I-" Anduin suddenly realised what Wrathion had said, and blushed. "...what?"

Wrathion's pupils suddenly constricted and he swallowed, his face falling. "Nothing," he said, tapping his talons against the board and avoiding eye contact. "It's still your move."

Anduin conceded and looked back at the jihui board, letting himself smile just a little. He supposed they were both making progress...


	2. Divulgence

So. Crunch day.

Anduin had to admit he'd put this off. A bit. ...okay, a lot. He'd known something was different for a long time, but he'd been dreading telling his father that he might be gay, let alone... anything else. Anything more complicated. His mind had concocted scenes of his father's confusion turning to violence, his leg being broken again, disowned from the royal family and thrown into the streets... and despite knowing that none of that was likely to actually happen, it still rendered him afraid enough of how his father would take the news that six months passed between Anduin's initial revelation and the first few steps towards his reveal.

He decided, in the sort of tactical retreat that Wrathion frequently teased him over (not a surrender, Anduin always hastened to add), that he'd talk to Auntie Jaina first.

Not that their relationship had been much better of late. Jaina had grown cold and distant, a far cry from the woman who had befriended Anduin quite so soundly when he'd been younger. He supposed it was part of growing up - he was 16 now, had a mind entirely of his own, and the increased animosity between himself and the generation above him was seemingly universal. But at least he wasn't afraid Jaina would hurt him, and she didn't have any power over his titles if things went wrong.

Following Wrathion's example, he chatted with her about inane topics - the weather, mostly - for a while. The plan was to bring the topic smoothly towards sexuality once she was relaxed and comfortable. Or, well. Try to. She stared at him the whole time, apparently aware he was stalling; either she was cleverer than Anduin was, or Anduin was more obvious than Wrathion had been. Anduin dryly suspected both.

Eventually, she shook her head and for a moment Anduin tensed up, afraid he'd angered her. "Anduin, something's bothering you."

Once again, he felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. He gave a noncommittal shrug and looked away.

"Did you have another argument with your father?" She looked unimpressed.  
He shook his head. "Nothing like that. Well. Uh. Not yet. I think there's something he might not like..."  
Jaina raised an eyebrow, smirking. "And you think I will? This I need to hear."  
"N- No, I just thought... you might be a little more, um. Accepting."

Her demeanour changed immediately when she realised it was something personal Anduin was talking about, rather than anything to do with politics. "What's the matter, Anduin?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, calming himself. "I was talking with my friend, and... he helped me realise I'm a little different than other people. At first I thought I was gay," he glanced up nervously at Jaina, "but that didn't fit, really. Not properly. I'd had crushes on men before, but nothing really... um... sexual," he cringed at having to use the word so directly, then straightened up to look her in the eye as he made his final announcement. "Asexual. I think I'm asexual."

She listened openly throughout, her head tilted and a faint smile on her face. It widened reassuringly when Anduin was done talking. "I'm sorry I didn't get to help you with this earlier," she admitted. "I kept waiting for the right time, but I never really got a chance."  
"Um- my friend wasn't exactly very complete," Anduin admitted with a breathless laugh. "Do you have any books I could read, or anything?"  
Jaina grinned. "Of course I do."

Three hours later and Anduin had more books to take home than he could realistically carry; and grateful he was for them, too. They covered a wide range of perspectives and vocabulary uses - it was an area of study he hadn't had an opportunity to delve into before, and he was glad Jaina was there to help him.

She was packing the particularly heavy books into boxes to be teleported to Stormwind when she posed the question he'd hoped she had forgotten. "When are you going to tell your father?"

"Uh," he fidgetted with his cane, "I don't know. I don't even know what I'm going to tell him yet."  
"Just tell him what you told me," Jaina soothed. "And on the off chance he doesn't take kindly to it, well... you always have a place to stay here if you need it."  
Anduin smiled bashfully. "Thanks, Auntie Jaina."


End file.
